The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me.
I remember we'd all pile into the car ( I forget what kind it was ) and
drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some
trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played
whatever sport we played.  We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

 

Arnold from "Hey Arnold" is pretty hott for a 9-year-old cartoon character. So is that guy Trent from "Daria".

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world
is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding
on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

 

 

A funny thing to do is, if you're out bush and your friend gets bitten by a
poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about a few metres and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him
about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why
it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

 

Half the people on my MSN list can't even speak english. They're like "Hola habla si querto tortilla??" And then I feel bad because I can't understand a word they're saying. So I politely excuse myself and appear offline. Appear offline is cruel, I don't like to use it cuz it's deceptive and wrong. But it's fun to sneak up on people!

 

 

I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to
be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the
sun be blotted out from the sky."  Just then the eclipse would start, and
they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about
the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

 

 

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses
should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

 

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be
"Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then
I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it
with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would
probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw
screw you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

 

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my
holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-alec cowboy said
something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started
laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's
right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice."
 

 

Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun
of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free
drink.

 

 

 

All Linkin Park songs sound the same. Soft start, chorus, rapping guy, chorus, singing, breakdown, yelling yelling, chorus, chunkchunk, end. (not that theres anything wrong with that, I love Linkin Park!)